I've been trying out this whole positive thinking thing for about 4 weeks now. Overall, it has been going well if I were to sit down and think about it, which I forced myself to do tonight. I was down all day today. I couldn't shake it no matter what I did. I tried the whole fooling my subconscious into feeling positive by thinking, "I'm in a good mood" over and over. Well, that didn't work, as it normally does, in fact, it further progressed my anxiety until I threw up. To top it off I was at work after being sick for a week, real cool self! Thanks!
So after freaking out over nothing at work and getting through that Lifetime movie I caused myself I came home. I still couldn't shake this moodiness. Well Nick, who can read me like a book(damn him!), sat me down and wanted to talk, which is fine. I am usually all about trying to figure out why I am down and more than willing to help find a solution, but today I couldn't put a finger on WHY I was feeling like this. After talking for awhile we came to the conclusion that I want the instant gratification for the hard work I have been putting in these past few weeks. I feel that I am doing all this work and am seeing no results. Well, Nick being the man of reason he is, pointed out that while the results haven't been huge there has been a lot of progress.
He said something that really struck a chord though---
"You feel like you're up against a brick wall, don't you? When you feel that way, why don't you lay down and look at the brick wall from a different perspective? When you're laying down, its just a path there to HELP lead you to your goals, not something you're up AGAINST to defeat you."
So yeah, I am still feeling a little down, but that's probably down right bitchiness, missing my mom, and my extreme need(yes, need) for a brownie sundae. Nothing I don't conquer on a daily basis!
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