I will be the first to admit I like shiny things. I am like a fucking raccoon when it comes to shit like that. I'm a self proclaimed "sparkle-holic" if you will. I may not project this in my everyday life, but I am pretty girly. I was a huge tomboy back when I was younger. I blame my grandfather for this. He didn't have a lot of masculine energy around with 2 daughters and a gay son, so as soon as I came around I am pretty sure his mindset was something like this--"Vagina or not, this girl is going to like sports and have things in common with me, damnit!" While the blood in my veins still runs blue and orange for my Chicago Bears, I started to embrace the princess in myself when I was around 16. Being Dennis's pseudo-grandson or not; I still dreamed about my wedding day as little girl.
A little over a year ago, my dreams actually came one step closer to fruition. It wasn't the proposal I had pictured my whole life, but it was so us. It wasn't the proposal Nick has planned either. We were actually in the middle of arguing. I asked him to get me a Q-Tip. He was in our bathroom and yelled out that he couldn't find them. I was pissed because I didn't want to get up, so I ran in there and he was on one knee with those damn Q-Tips right by him. Nick asked me to marry him! And I said yes! He hadn't planned to ask me that day, so he had tied a bread tie in a circle with another one attached for the ruby.
The second after that "Yes" came out of my mouth, I started planning. A week after being engaged, I had my dress picked out, the "theme" planned, and the guest list started. This was all of course being done while having about $7.00 to my name and way more than that in debt. The little girl in me was all about planning this and getting it done! I didn't realize that the butter mints could wait. My maid of honor is still going to be there in 5 years if I want to wait. If I want someone to see me in a pretty dress and in love, then come see me karaoke on the weekend, because I soon realized--planning a wedding does not equal planning a marriage.
This blog was inspired by a night of me watching Sex and the City. It was one where Carrie and Aiden were dating and he buys her apartment building and moves in with her. She snoops through his bag and sees a ring and proceeds to vomit in the sink--- the only hint she needed that she wasn't ready! At the end of the episode, he asks her and she says yes anyways! Why? Because most girls are like me, self proclaimed "sparkle-holics" who have been waiting to say yes to that question their whole life. Anyways, it pissed me off!
That's not why I said yes to getting married, and that is certainly why I am waiting to get married. I absolutely love my ring, yes it does sparkle, but that ring isn't going to mean shit if I rush things and say yes just because I finally have that opportunity to do so. I'd rather have a bread tie ring, sparkly or not, and a beautiful marriage with the love of my life.
Wednesday, October 12, 2011
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Lord am I happy it wasn't Napa Valley--I would have become a wino!
Life is funny how it throws you curve balls. Six weeks ago, I was ready to start a new life. My brain was ready to give up on the life I have created up here in Eau Claire. Thanks to a great friend and a lot of faith, I decided to go with my heart and stay up here. Just so happens, I have started a new life anyways. I am so happy I went with my gut feelings and stayed. Nick and I sat down and came up with a plan. We were going to start thinking positively. We would no longer negatively enable each other. We were going to try our damnedest to cut out our laziness--and it was going to be today, not tomorrow. We both went at this in different ways, but the change we have seen has been tremendous.
Last week, we celebrated our 3 year anniversary. In that time, we have been through ups and downs. I swear to God, we've been riding a roller coaster. There have been twists and turns and loops and bends I never knew even existed. No one ever said love would be easy. I've heard it my whole life--life has it's peaks and valleys. It seems like in these past three years, we have spent a majority of our time in a valley. Lord am I happy it wasn't Napa Valley--I would have become a wino! Now don't think that this time has all sucked because it hasn't. In that time, I have laughed more than I ever have in my whole life. I have found out that I am worth more than I gave myself credit for. I also found out that love means you stick it out through the tough shit.
And boy oh boy has there been tough shit. We moved in with each other--that's a plus! Within a month, we both lost our jobs and our apartment got robbed---kind of a BIG minus! We got our kitties. My furry babies! That is definitely a plus. We moved up to Eau Claire. That has had its ups and downs alone. Alas---we have now gotten to the point where we have a plan--kind of. Our plan is--be adults. We have learned and continue to learn how to keep "Old Nick and Megan" in check. We still have a blast, and haven't lost our old selves by any means. We still eat cereal in our underwear and watch cartoons on the couch, but we do that before going into work now. We are never going to be normal. Thank God for that!
As Nick and I were walking back to our apartment after dinner with his folks tonight, we smelled a bonfire. We were carrying on a conversation and both stopped mid sentence. We breathed in deep and both smiled. We were both transported somewhere else if only for a second.
Ever since I can remember, I have loved the smell of burning leaves. It reminds me of my favorite time of year, Autumn-- hoodies, apple cider donuts, and going to the Pumpkin Patch as a kid. The colors of fall are beautiful--with it's rich reds, burgundies, oranges, and yellows. Nothing beats the sound of stepping on that first crunchy leaf! I can sit here and recall the many years I helped my grandparents rake their huge lawn and bring all of the leaves to the burn pile. I always used to love to watch the smoke billow out into the open field in the beginning of the fire. My favorite was watching the embers die out at the end when there was nothing else left to burn. They were a deep red-orange color, almost like lava.
Tonight as I was walking home, I was just reminded of how lucky I am. I was always taught to appreciate what I have, and I do. Sure, I have a lot of debt, and my pants don't fit the way I want to, but I do have a family who I love. I hate my huge feet and wish my skin would clear up, but I do have friends who I wouldn't change for the world, and fiance who will stand by me no matter what. Yeah, it kind of sucks that I am working a job that pays kind of shitty, but I am starting school in January because I finally know what I want to do with my life. This is a life that I just started over six weeks ago, ya know? Can't really go wrong with that!
Last week, we celebrated our 3 year anniversary. In that time, we have been through ups and downs. I swear to God, we've been riding a roller coaster. There have been twists and turns and loops and bends I never knew even existed. No one ever said love would be easy. I've heard it my whole life--life has it's peaks and valleys. It seems like in these past three years, we have spent a majority of our time in a valley. Lord am I happy it wasn't Napa Valley--I would have become a wino! Now don't think that this time has all sucked because it hasn't. In that time, I have laughed more than I ever have in my whole life. I have found out that I am worth more than I gave myself credit for. I also found out that love means you stick it out through the tough shit.
And boy oh boy has there been tough shit. We moved in with each other--that's a plus! Within a month, we both lost our jobs and our apartment got robbed---kind of a BIG minus! We got our kitties. My furry babies! That is definitely a plus. We moved up to Eau Claire. That has had its ups and downs alone. Alas---we have now gotten to the point where we have a plan--kind of. Our plan is--be adults. We have learned and continue to learn how to keep "Old Nick and Megan" in check. We still have a blast, and haven't lost our old selves by any means. We still eat cereal in our underwear and watch cartoons on the couch, but we do that before going into work now. We are never going to be normal. Thank God for that!
As Nick and I were walking back to our apartment after dinner with his folks tonight, we smelled a bonfire. We were carrying on a conversation and both stopped mid sentence. We breathed in deep and both smiled. We were both transported somewhere else if only for a second.
Ever since I can remember, I have loved the smell of burning leaves. It reminds me of my favorite time of year, Autumn-- hoodies, apple cider donuts, and going to the Pumpkin Patch as a kid. The colors of fall are beautiful--with it's rich reds, burgundies, oranges, and yellows. Nothing beats the sound of stepping on that first crunchy leaf! I can sit here and recall the many years I helped my grandparents rake their huge lawn and bring all of the leaves to the burn pile. I always used to love to watch the smoke billow out into the open field in the beginning of the fire. My favorite was watching the embers die out at the end when there was nothing else left to burn. They were a deep red-orange color, almost like lava.
Tonight as I was walking home, I was just reminded of how lucky I am. I was always taught to appreciate what I have, and I do. Sure, I have a lot of debt, and my pants don't fit the way I want to, but I do have a family who I love. I hate my huge feet and wish my skin would clear up, but I do have friends who I wouldn't change for the world, and fiance who will stand by me no matter what. Yeah, it kind of sucks that I am working a job that pays kind of shitty, but I am starting school in January because I finally know what I want to do with my life. This is a life that I just started over six weeks ago, ya know? Can't really go wrong with that!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)